Many forget that one of the goals of the sexual revolution in the 60s was not legalizing divorce but the cultural ‘extermination’ of marriage. Their argument was that marriage was a stupid made up convention that limited love (“why can’t I love more than one person ?”) and forced people into eternal unhappiness.
Divorce was really just a means to an end. It was the escape valve that allowed people who were forced to marry before the ‘revolution’ to become free.
Well, things really didn’t turn out that way right? What happened after the 60s was the creation of a chaotic state where people understood that marriage was still the best way to organize a family (so much so that now even the ‘progressive’ gay community fights to be allowed to marry) but the idea that “you must do whatever is needed to be happy at all times” remains.
But like everything else, marriage is not a magical way to eternal bliss. It is not the solution to all the problems all humans have no matter what. Thefore, we got stuck in an eternal loop of marriage and divorce.
Now clearly, there are situations were divorce is the best option. Just like there are situations when abortion is the best option and the death penalty is the best option. But the common theme for all of those measures is the sense that they are things you do your best to avoid. These are last resort solutions that are by no means free of pain and suffering.
Gay people have one valid point in the whole discussion about marriage: what is the point? why two people living together is not the same as a marriage? Why does it matter if one is male and the other is female?
Since we accepted government intervention in marriage, my take is that it should be all about the kids. Divorce before and after children are born are as different as heterosexual and homosexual marriage (if not more).
Children do change everything. You have added people to your relationship that are totally and completely dependent on you. It is not just about money. It is about you raising and in many ways molding new beings that did not ask to be there. It is the ultimate responsibility any human being can ever have.
Couple with kids should still be able to divorce but the procedure should be much more strict. But the legal aspect is really secondary here. The main problem is with our culture. All these lies about children from divorced parents being ‘just fine’ or the complete casual approach to cheating are probably the root causes of many serious social problems we have. I really don’t think we need social studies to prove all of this, it is simply a matter of common sense.
It all goes back to why people still get married. In the end, people understand why we want to choose one person to be with. We have to leave all the stupid BS that was pushed down our culture to try to destroy the idea of marriage and embrace it. If it is what we want, we should really do our best to make it work.